Five things West Ham fans can expect this season

The start of the season is but weeks away, and I can already smell the fresh cut grass and taste stale Carlsberg and surprisingly juicy pies from West Ham United’s ground, Upton Park.

I can’t wait to see the players walk out in their famous claret and blue whilst bubbles blares over the sound system; but before we officially kick a ball, there’s still time for lots of moving and shaking to occur.

With that in mind, here’s five things West Ham United fans can expect ahead of the new season beginning.

Angry fans

You know what West Ham fans love? Nothing. Right now their hearts are so filled with Sam-hate that it’s hard to imagine anyone cracking a smile if we even draw against Spurs on the opening day.

Pre-season isn’t supposed to be important, or even taken seriously, but ours has been dull and, given that it’s come on the back of an extremely tedious season, people are angry in advance of the new season even beginning.

I can’t see it getting much better as time goes on; after all, even David Moyes didn’t get polls to be sacked run by his own fans during pre-season.

Injured players

Yet again, another season is rolling around and yet again, we’ve signed an expensive striker who brought with him the promise of goals galore – and arrived with a sick note to boot.

Expensive signing Enner Valencia has had his work permit secured, but instead of being ready and willing to get stuck in, he’s weeks away from match fitness – and yet this man scored 3 goals in 6 days at the World Cup a month ago.

We’ve also yet again lost Andy Carroll to injury, and the big Geordie will be out for up to 4 months.

Recent prison releasee, Ravel Morrison is also rumoured to be out for the start of the season due to injury, although not one sustained during his arrest.

One or two more signings

Although we are still being linked to everyone and their mother, the fans might still be able to expect someone else to put pen to paper ahead of the start of the season.

Allardyce has said he is still hunting for a striker (keeping in mind we’ve still got Carlton Cole, Mauro Zarate, Andy Carroll, Enner Valencia and we’ve not played two up front since maybe 2009) and given the board’s commitment to improving this for this season, we may yet see more players come in.

The Return of Emotions

One thing that fans can certainly expect is the return of their emotions – and I mean all of their emotions.

Last year saw moments of ecstasy (beating Spurs again, and again and again) despair (how does a professional football club have no fit centre backs), outrage (I’ll never forgive Chico Flores for his despicable behavior versus Carroll), and embarrassment (why there needs to be two legs to the Capitol One cup semi-final, I’ll never know)—but the point is, it’s never boring.

We’re not guaranteed safety, nor are we guaranteed relegation – we have to experience all the feelings every year, and even though I’m dreading the moments of despair, I’ve already got butterflies in my stomach for spilling out of the District Line at Upton Park station and feeling the crowd build and sway and sing on the way to the hallowed turf—and I can’t wait.

Absurd transfer rumours

My goodness, the players we get linked to at West Ham.

We keep going around Samuel Eto’o (deemed “too old” by Big Sam, so expect him to score against us this season), Ronaldinho (stop), Peter Crouch (why) and Leo Baptistao (okay.)

Silly season has gone the other way too. Kevin Nolan has been linked with a shock move to Cardiff (just 2hrs and 40 minutes in current traffic down the M4, Kev, if you leave now) and a rumour briefly popped up that Mr. West Ham, Mark Noble would head up north to Sunderland. No chance.

What are you looking forward to seeing from your team ahead of the season starting? And did anyone else’s team make another big-money signing that’s already out for a few weeks? No, okay, well, just in case they did, let us know below or tweet us @LaFootyettes.